Technically, this is not day one. Sometime in January, we got a diagnosis for our youngest. He was only 35 days old at the time, and he did not pass his hearing test. At our hospital, when a newborn (or neonate) does not pass their hearing screen (the in-depth audiology kind), they are immediately sent for a collection of urine. This is tested for CMV, otherwise known as Cytomegalovirus. This virus is a relative of the Herpes virus, and is the second leading cause of hearing loss in infants. The first being genetic.
CMV doesn't just cause hearing loss though. It is responsible for a wide range of issues, from liver and spleen damage to mental and physical disabilities. You can read more about here: https://www.nationalcmv.org.
In our case, my son not only has hearing loss, but the CMV also caused cysts in his brain, which translates to brain damage. We do not yet know how this will affect him yet. He could be fine, hit all his milestones with no problem and the only noticeable damage will be corrected with hearing aids. Or he could have mental retardation and physical development problems. The range for him is that big.
I'm an anxious person. It's part of my personality, and it's not something that I think will ever go away. I've learned a lot of ways to deal with it in my life, mostly succesfully. But this diagnosis, this uncertainty...it has left me wanting to crawl out of my skin and up a wall. So now I'm learning how to do the one day at a time thing. I'd never be able to enjoy my son otherwise. The first month, I wasted so much time worrying about what could be wrong with him, I didn't really enjoy his newborn baby self. So I'm learning, slowly.
Currently, I am also learning how to manage hearing aids on a three and a half month old. Seriously, they don't stay on. I have ordered a headband for him, and I'm trying the wig tape thing. Yesterday it didn't work (I didn't use enough), today was more successful. But one of his ear molds (the part that fits in his ear) are too small, so they keep falling out no matter what. All the poor kid is hearing on that side is high pitch whining...he's going to wonder some day why he can tune out annoying noises so well (when is hearing aids are not turned off). Something for him to tell his therapist.
Signing off before this gets longer than it should (whoops, too late).
